FSA Recruitment - Jobs Opening

The Free Syrian Army wants you, and yes, it's hiring at the times where you won't find a job that fulfills your desires, join the FSA and become admired by all the heads of states in the 'west', all mainstream media will mention your acts, sadly, there's a bad ending to this: If the Syrian Army kills you, you will be a number only in one line news bulletin, then you'll go to hell.

What are you waiting for? Join now, kill a few, rape a few, doesn't matter if your victims were men, women, children, infants.. live or dead, you'll get a free license to kill, kidnap, butcher, slice, and rape civilians while the whole western officials will praise your deeds, only God won't be happy with you, but come on, what do you care for? Right?

To apply is very easy: Create a Facebook account, post some photos in 'wrong' positions, become a fan of some Satanic pages and you'll be picked.. The more 'wrong' the positions you pose in your photos the more likely you'll be contacted by a NATO intelligence agency near you. Gays and ex-cons are welcomed.

Benefits: Salaries are all paid in cash, you choose the currency, the most desired currencies are: US Dollar, Euros, Saudi Riyals, Qatari Riyals and Turkish Liras, you get paid per victim, or per task, & wages depends on money reaching the group you're deployed with. 

Travel: Free one way ticket till you reach your 'final' destination: Syria, via any airline and you'll be using fake IDs, doesn't matter, CIA got you covered.

Working hours: Flexible, there are no set working hours, it's all tasks based missions.

Retirement: There's no guarantee that you'll live past the current Syrian crisis, thus you shouldn't consider this option.

Vacancies: Snipers, hit-men, rapists, butchers, gays, bottoms, masturbators, psychos, mentally retarded, & many others.

End of Service: Not in cash, but if you were not a Syrian national and you get killed by the men of God, the Syrian Army, your body would be burnt to hide your identity, so you need to worry about any shame to your family.

Prerequisites: A beard, a desire to kill, and the ability to run is all what's required, no analytics, thinking or any brain usage functions required, most likely your commander will offer you free weed.

Promotions: Very easy, look at the picture below and you should figure it out:

Political Cover: There will always be officials willing to cover your work, so you'll be fine:

US Senators you can always depend on in supporting non-US interests worldwide

You can always depend on Kuwaiti Salafist parliament members, they'll fight for you, literally..

The western politicians will adore you to the extent of cutting food, housing and healthcare from their people to support your cause: Clinton pledges $45 million more aid to Syrian rebels.

You will be put under a one week training course in a camp in any NATO or stooges country under direct supervision of experts in the 'matter'.. You'll get to learn how to carry guns of all types, no need for you to learn how to use them, just carrying and posing will be enough for the job, NATO agents on the ground will be there for the serious tasks.

Sample of a 'peaceful protester' in Syria

Sample of an FSA captain from the start to the end of this 'brave' 'man' - turn CC on for English subtitles: 

However, in case you do make it, very unlikely, and manage to survive, you can later 'liberate' and 'democratize' the White House in the USA itself, just like what your colleague want to do:

What are you waiting for? Enroll now and book your one way ticket to hell.

They fool you, they keep fooling you & they enjoy fooling you, not because they're smart, it's because you're foolable